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July 27, 2018

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  It never ends, does it? The daily cable-news soap opera hysteria. A new crisis every day. Sex. Money. Secret tapes. A stripper whose upper torso gives new meaning to the term Silicon Valley. Trade Wars. Banned reporters. Fake News. Bring out the popcorn. Pull out some Raisinets. Refill the Coke and Pepsi. Sneak in a few plastic straws. Let's recap this week's episodes of "As the Swamp Turns."
   The media frenzy began with ClowNN's Chris (Trump, I've got you now) Cuomo's airing a "bombshell" secret tape of a private conversation between Trump and his attorney, Michael Cohen, which turned out to be more Yani versus Laurel, than anything else. Depending on which side you listen to, it was either a nothing burger from a legal perspective, or a sex scandal potentially imperiling Trump's presidency. Liberals & NeverTrumpers really want us to care about this, but I refuse. Did Trump have affairs 12 years ago and pay off women to keep their mouths shut about them? I don't know and I don't care. When I voted for him I wasn't voting for Pope. I had no delusions that he was a Boy Scout. In all honesty, I expected him to be a bad president, just not as bad as Hillary would have been. It turns out Trump is a much better president than I imagined. When he does good, like last quarter's 4.1% GDP growth, we should cheer him loudly. And when he screws up, and he's done that, too, we must be critical. But who cares about what he may have done years ago or even now in his personal life? That's between him and his wife. As long as it's legal, you're not going to make me care about it, no matter how many recordings you play.
   The next round of Liberal head explosions came with the news that in the wake of the (finally) released, and heavily redacted, FISA application, Trump was considering revoking security clearance of several Obama regime deep staters. As expected, the FISA application proved to be a "self-licking ice cream cone" based on HRC funded opposition research designed to take Trump out. While predictibly, Piglosi called it " a deflection," and Adam Schiff-for-brains called Trump a coward, down here on planet Earth, sane Americans were wondering why ANY former government employees should keep their security status?
   There was also much gnashing of teeth when ConstipatedNN's unbelievably rude and disruptive Kaitlan Collins was barred from a Rose Garden presser after refusing to leave the Oval Office while shouting question after question at President Trump. All that Well-I-Never-ing came from the same press corps that had an Obamagasm years back when The Sainted One threw a reporter out of the WH for asking a question he didn't like. Oh, Hypocrisy, thy name is Liberal.
   It's hard to decide which were the funniest installments this week. Maybe it was when former Treasury Secy, Jack Lew's tirade against Trump's tariff "blunders" was interrupted - on air - with the news that the EU was caving to most of Trump's "fair-trade" demands - Ooops! Perhaps it was the LibMedia's reaction to Allie Stuckey's obvious parody of Bolshevik Barbie Occasional-Cortex's self-parody interview with Margaret Hoover. I laughed myself silly over that one! And Iran...don't get me started on Iran...OK, get me started.
   Anyone with half a brain might look at this week's news that North Korea was dismantling their launch sites and that they were returning the remains of US soldiers after Trump took a hard line with Lil Fat Kim and think that maybe, just maybe, Trump was onto something. But Noooooo! The Progs & their lapdog media never learn - they just keep repeating their worn out "Trump is a bumbling warmonger" talking point. They refuse to believe standing up to tyrants works better than kissing their a$$ and sending them billions, as St. Spineless did. Sunday, Iranian president Rouhani, (who apparently thinks Wimpy Obama is still president), threatened the "mother of all wars" against the US if we place more economic sanctions on Iran. But he got a rude awakening when President Trump unleashed the mother-of-all-tweetstorms (in all caps): "NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW, THROUGHOUT HISTORY, HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE!" Reeling from the all caps tweet, Iranians began a program to develop their own caps lock & intelligence surveillance satellites captured pictures of the regime's preliminary keyboard test, during which, they successfully managed to get a quick brown fox to jump over the lazy dog.
   Next in our lineup, we were treated to another episode of spot the loony, featuring random acts of Liberal insanity. This week's contestants included: Austin Clay, 24, of LA, who demonstrated his tolerance by taking a pick axe to Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star, which was rebuilt before Clay was released on bail. Bravo. Next up were Mad Maxine's supporters who appeared outside her office and demonstrated their patriotism by burning the flag and shouting "Black Power." And she thinks we're deplorables? And who could forget my beloved governor, (the dumber Cuomo), who proved how much the Left loves women by restoring voting rights for the Voodoo Child Rapist. Well done! Runner up in this crazy competition was none other than the Hildebeast, herself, who showed up to a NYC music festival to bash Trump...rocking a hospital gown. If the scuttlebutt is true and Shrillary is actually considering a third humiliating defeat for the Presidency, she certainly isn't doing herself any favors turning up at speaking events looking like Mrs. Roper. But the winner of this week's LibLoon award had to be the city of Santa Barbara which unanimously passed an ordinance that gives restaurant employees six months of jail time or a $1,000 fine for giving plastic straws to customers. What the hell is wrong with the people in California? Last year, they decriminalized knowingly spreading HIV, but heaven forbid you get caught with a plastic straw! Now, I realize that California will do anything to protect illegal alien criminals. But what if an illegal alien uses as a plastic straw?

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"Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have so enthusiastically acclaimed and adored him and rejoiced in their loss of freedom and danced in his path and given him triumphal processions.

Blame the people who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of the "new wonderful good society" which shall now be Rome's, interpreted to mean "more money, more ease, more security, and more living fatly at the expense of the industrious".

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC)


"It does not take a majority to prevail - but an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men."

-- Samuel Adams

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."

-- Ronald Reagan

"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened".

-- Norman Thomas
Socialist Candidate for President of the United States 1944